Or should I send him this one?

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State-Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and the siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a State-Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

The trooper replied, “Sir, you have a good day.

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly..

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady: No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago..

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so ’spicy’ that I just laid down and told him ‘Take me, young man. Take me now!’

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, ‘April Fool!’ And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard..

Lesson to this story?  Never mess with an old lady unless you mean business because she sure does HA HA HA!!!!

Some “dirtbag” in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up “executing” the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun.

SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times.  Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel: “That’s all the bullets we had!”  (Talk about an all time classic great answer!!!)

But wait, there’s more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in our home. I said I did. She said ‘Well I certainly hope it isn’t loaded!’ To which I said, of course it is loaded, can’t work without bullets!’ She then asked, ‘Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?’ My reply was, ‘No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.’  To which I’ll add, having a gun in the house that isn’t loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.

I was really hoping they wouldn’t look like when had put in a gym and now had gym lockers in the back and luckily, these are really nice.  I know that might sound a bit silly to you but like I have always said, I like the finer things in life so when they started looking for lockers for sale, I was holding my breath.  But you know what?  I do feel like my belongings are a lot safer now by putting them in a locker.

By Rush Limbaugh:

I think the vast differences in compensation between victims of the September 11 casualty and those who die serving our country in Uniform are profound No one is really talking about it either, because you just don’t criticize anything having to do with September 11. Well, I can’t let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11 attack, you’re going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $4.7 million.

If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.
Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs. If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there’s a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt.

Keep in mind that! some of the people who are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $4.7 million are complaining that it’s not enough. Their deaths were tragic, but for most, they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Soldiers put themselves in harms way FOR ALL OF US, and they and their families know the dangers. (Actually, soldiers are put in harms way by politicians and commanding officers.)

We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11 families are getting. In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.

You see where this is going, don’t you? Folks, this is part and parcel of over 50 years of entitlement politics in this country. It’s just really sad. Every time a pay raise comes up for the military, they usually receive next to nothing of a raise..

Now the green machine is in combat in the Middle East while their families have to survive on food stamps and live in low-rent housing. Make sense?

However, our own US Congress voted themselves a raise. Many of you don’t know that they only have to be in Congress one time to receive a pension that is more than $15,000 per month. And most are now equal to being millionaires plus. They do not receive Social Security on retirement because they didn’t have to pay into the system. If some of the military people stay in for 20 years and get out as an E-7, they may receive a pension of $1,000 per month, and the very people who placed them in harm’s way receives a pension of $15,000 per month.

I would like to see our elected officials pick up a weapon and join ranks before they start cutting out benefits and lowering pay for our sons and daughters who are now fighting.

An Amish man from Cambria County, Pennsylvania has been sentenced to 90 days in jail after claiming his religious beliefs prevent him from bringing two school outhouses into compliance with state sewage regulations. Andy Swartzentruber, of Barr Township, was jailed and fined $1,000 on a contempt of court charge for violating a previous court order. County officials said waste was collected in buckets and dumped outside.

Judge Norman Krumenacker also ordered the Amish school and outhouse on Swartzentruber’s property to be locked up until the violations are addressed. The judge said Swartzentruber could be released early if the sewage issues are resolved.

The ruling shocked about a dozen men and women in the courtroom, including his wife Frances, with whom Swartzentruber has 16 children. But he said he would rather accept jail-time than violate his religious convictions. “I stand by my religion. If I don’t, it could destroy the whole church group,” he said.

Pennsylvania Department of Education officials said the local school district is responsible for educating the school’s 18 children, or the parents could seek home-schooling or private schools. Media reports did not specify exactly what needs to be done to resolve the sewage issue.

There are some strange laws in our country and even stranger religions but the Amish are the most gentle of all of them so why in the world would the judge sentence this man to jail over an outside bathroom at that.  I wish they had given more details as to what the problem was with the outhouse but they didn’t.    One things for sure, you have to admire the man for standing by his religious convictions.  It’s rare to find someone willing to stand up for much of anything in this day in time especially when it’s something they think is right!!!

In 1977, Polanski was arrested charged with sodomy, sexual assault and rape of a 13-year-old girl at Jack Nicholson’s house in California, United States. Polanski agreed to plead guilty to unlawful sex with a child, often called statutory rape, in exchange for having the more serious charges dropped. However, in 1978, before his sentencing, Polanski fled the United States. He has since been a fugitive and faces arrest if he sets foot on US soil. France refuses to extradite him.

Polanski’s lawyers argued that there were irregularities and misconduct in the original handling of the case. While the Judge agreed, he rejected the notion that the charges should be dismissed on the grounds that Polanski cannot challenge the ruling while on the run as a fugitive.

There’s something wrong with this picture, don’t you think?  How can an industry honor a sexual predator like the movie industry has?  There is just something fundamentally wrong with that I think.  If I were an actor, I don’t care how much money he offered me to be in a movie he was making, I would have to refuse or tell him that I would only if he films it here in the United States.  I’m not so sure I care to ever see another of his films now that I am aware of this either.  Just a thought.

I have absolutely nothing against gay people.  In fact, I think they should have the right to some type of ‘union’ just as straight people do.  In fact, I have seen some gay relationships last longer than straight relationships tend to and with that in mind, they should have some of the same rights that married people have.  It doesn’t have to be called a marriage if that word bothers people that believe two men or two women can’t marry.  Like I said earlier in this post, they should be able to have a ‘union’ if that word suits straight people better.  But that is my opinion and it’s a shame it’s not the opinion of more people.