When Dakota and I finally set the date, wedding plans went into high gear. Thank goodness we were smart enough to set the date a year ahead of time, we are going to need it! There are so many decisions to be made about the ceremony! One of the biggest concerns is about picking the best wedding florists in Toledo for my bridal bouquet. One of my girlfriends got married last year and her Toledo wedding florists made her a duplicate bridal bouquet out of silk flowers for her to keep in a glass bell jar as a keepsake of her wedding.

She keeps it on display on the top of her curio stand in the living room, and it is absolutely stunning. That is something that I think I would like to do as well. I’ve always felt that buying fresh wedding flowers Toledo was a waste of money because the couple goes away on their honeymoon and leave the flowers behind to die while they are honeymooning. With all of the money spent on a wedding, wouldn’t it make sense to want to enjoy the flowers for more than just that one day? I wonder if all the florists will perform that same service; I think that they should, don’t you?

When Tiffany gave me her dining room set, I was thrilled to pieces. I haven’t had any nice looking furniture in my dining room ever in my life. Always been living with hand-me-down beat up rickity furniture that was, in my opinion, an eye sore. So Jack and I drove the truck to the storage unit to load the dining room set onto the trailer to haul it home again. By the time we got home with the furniture Jack was in a foul mood and decided to not unload the furniture right away, even though I told him that the weatherman was calling for heavy rain. I pleaded with him to help me move the furniture into the garage to keep it dry, and we could move it into the house the next day.

Well Jack said that he would cover the furniture with tarps to protect it from getting wet, but that was all he was going to do for the day and that was the end of it. I unloaded the chairs by myself and left Jack to cover the remaining furniture.  I went into the kitchen to start cooking supper, trusting that Jack knew what he was doing. The rain came, as predicted, after dark, and it rained steady and hard for two days. I worried about the furniture, but Jack assured me that the tarp was doing its job and keeping the furniture safe and sound and dry as a bone.

When the rain finally cleared we went out into the driveway to unload the furniture. I was mortified when I realized that instead of a waterproof tarp, Jack had only put a cotton sheet as a drop cloth over the furniture!  You guessed it; the furniture was badly water damaged.

When the table was brought into the dining room, I started to cry. I grabbed a tube of toothpaste and started to rub it into the water stains. That method was useless. So I did a little bit of online research and found a suggestion that I use a cotton pressing cloth and a warm iron to iron out the water stains. Well, it took all day long, but it worked and the table looks great! Thank you, awesome tip sharing people on the Internet! You saved the day!

I have absolutely nothing against gay people.  In fact, I think they should have the right to some type of ‘union’ just as straight people do.  In fact, I have seen some gay relationships last longer than straight relationships tend to and with that in mind, they should have some of the same rights that married people have.  It doesn’t have to be called a marriage if that word bothers people that believe two men or two women can’t marry.  Like I said earlier in this post, they should be able to have a ‘union’ if that word suits straight people better.  But that is my opinion and it’s a shame it’s not the opinion of more people.

You go ahead without me, honey. I’m not tired yet.

Or should I send him this one?

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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

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I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’ It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’

And that’s when the fight started…..

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that’s when the fight started…..

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend                                 2. a companion

3. a lover                                  4. a brother

5. a father                                 6. a master

7. a chef                                     8. an electrician

9. a carpenter                        10. a plumber

11. a mechanic                       12. a decorator

13. a stylist                              14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist                16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator     18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer                              20. a good listener

21. an organizer                     22. a good father

23. very clean                         24. sympathetic

25. athletic                               26. warm

27. attentive                            28. gallant

29. intelligent                          30. funny

31. creative                              32. tender

33. strong                                 34. understanding

35. tolerant                              36. prudent

37. ambitious                          38. capable

39. courageous                       40. determined

41. true                                      42. dependable

43. passionate                        44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly          46. love shopping

47. be honest                                                       48. be very rich

49. not stress her out                                        50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries or arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

2. Bring alcohol

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State-Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and the siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a State-Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

The trooper replied, “Sir, you have a good day.