My bath towels are getting ragged. I love them, but we use them all the time. I guess you can only wash cotton towels so many times before they start getting worn. So I’ll be looking for towels to go on sale at one of the nicer department stores and I’m going to stock up my linen closet with fresh, soft new towels.
Archive for the ‘married life’ Category
27
Sep
16
Sep
What a wonderful idea
Everyone has seen some absolutely beautiful wedding cakes but there is another type. It’s a ‘Divorce cake’. My divorce will be final in a couple of months and I have been looking for someone to make me one……….make that two. I’m going to throw a ‘Divorce party’ and make sure that the other one is delivered to my soon to be ex-husband. What do you think? I think it’s perfect.
Or should I send him this one?
27
Aug
How the fight started
I got sent a whole list of “How the fight started” jokes and had to share them with you. I’ll just include a few at a time because there were several of them. I hope that’s okay with you after all, we all need a good laugh from time to time and this is one of those times I feel.
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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
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I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’ It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’
And that’s when the fight started…..
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that’s when the fight started…..
4
Aug
Just in case you wanted to know
This is called ‘How to make a woman happy.’ I thought there might be a few guys out there that could use this type of advice, just in case they didn’t know.
It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion
3. a lover 4. a brother
5. a father 6. a master
7. a chef 8. an electrician
9. a carpenter 10. a plumber
11. a mechanic 12. a decorator
13. a stylist 14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer 20. a good listener
21. an organizer 22. a good father
23. very clean 24. sympathetic
25. athletic 26. warm
27. attentive 28. gallant
29. intelligent 30. funny
31. creative 32. tender
33. strong 34. understanding
35. tolerant 36. prudent
37. ambitious 38. capable
39. courageous 40. determined
41. true 42. dependable
43. passionate 44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping
47. be honest 48. be very rich
49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries or arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol
4
Aug
Time for a smile!
If this doesn’t make you smile, then you really need a vacation. A friend of mine showed me this and I thought it was so very cute. Hopefully it will at least make you smile.
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State-Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and the siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a State-Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
The trooper replied, “Sir, you have a good day.